Sept. 16th Dr Appointment

I took your father, or Art if you may, to the doctor today. When the nurse brought him in for a workup he weighed in at 145 lbs (66 kilos). His blood pressure was 79/46, 80/41 and 79/49, she took the readings three times because she couldn't believe that it was that low. His blood oxygen was 89 and finally when up to 92. Pulse was 96.

When he saw the doctor the obvious concern was the low blood pressure which the doctor said is causing his kidneys to fail. The doctor took him off of one of his two high blood pressure medicines and believes this should help raise his pressure. After reviewing his discharge papers from his last hospital stay the doctor stated that he was not going to do anything aggressive at this time and that he wanted to see him in 30 days for blood work and more tests on his kidney functions. The doctor told us that the low blood pressure was a concern but not in the danger range. The VA will send the home an appointment letter for his Dr and lab test times.

Ralph

Although surveys show that 90 percent of Americans hope to die at home, only 20 percent get their wish. The majority die in hospitals. Only 17 percent die in hospices, where the focus of care is on keeping the patient comfortable rather than on prolonging life.

I just want to put it out there that, after reading a few stories of families who couldn't agree when the time for medical intervention is at an end, I would like to know that we all will stand together and allow our parents' their wish for a peaceful passing. I can think of nothing worse than conflict between us during such a time. I open the door now to your comments, please.

Oh yeah, life goes on
long after the thrill of livin' is gone.
- John Cougar (Mellencamp)

I remember as a boy running for the simple joy of running. Now I can’t remember the last time I broke stride, just for the joy of running (even before I lost that ability). When did I lose that joy, that thrill? What others have I lost over the years? Which ones are waiting to be put down?

I try to think of things to say to Mom and Dad to motivate them to do the things I think they need to be doing in order to slow their regression, and get frustrated by their lack of cooperation. I want it simply to be a matter of choice, a decision that they have made. If it is a conscious decision, then maybe they can be convinced to change their minds. Then maybe it’s something that I can do something about. I’ve always wanted life to be that way.

I still do; It still isn't; Is it?

Girls' Weekend

This was the delayed celebration trip to Paris for Emily's high school graduation. We took the train and arrived around mid-day Saturday. Saturday afternoon was spent visiting the Orsay, Notre Dame, and wandering Rive Gauche. Sunday most of the day we were at Versailles, where Emily fulfilled her dream of driving a golf cart all over the gardens (honestly,she was just as excited to do that as to be in Paris). Later that night, we went over to the Tour Eiffel to see it all lit up - fabulous! - and took a boat tour of the Seine. Monday morning we stopped at Montmarte, before we got back on the train to come home. A perfect girls' weekend, thanks to Steve for staying home with Beau.

....DAD's B-DAY....(Together)...

Well, needless to say my trip was uneventful...but good overall... Weather was somewhat warm in beginning & very cooling the more I got closer to El Paso...(especially after Ft. Stockton)...Must have had something to do with "GUSTAV"..possibly...?

Anywho, got to EP between 2100h & 2130h...end up in doing a 'lil shopping for Dad & myself; and tried to get a snack after @ "Chico's Tacos" on Zaragosa (N side of I-10)... But to my dismay(basically I said "shit" out loud several times there outside the restaurant...attracting some attention...not much.) as I found out they ONLY take cash...(shit, shit, shit...) So, I decided "hell with this ..." and ended up at "Taco Bell" just down the street (ate burrito Supreme)...

Well, before I knew it it was already becoming late & decided to stay at "The PETRO" just down the road & sleep it off for few hours... When I came to...it was about 0430h; so, decided to go into restaurant & have a hot tea watched some TV to catch up on "GUSTAV" to see what I missed; by then it was getting on 0700h... I decided it would be good to freshen up a bit before going anywhere else...

After that I decided it would be good to visit Dad & wish him"Happy B-Day" and give his present (oatmeal & grits, his favorites...was hoping to give it in time for his breakfast...no such luck, though...) at same time, and I did just that; stayed a few minutes and told him I'd be back later in the day to take him out to eat...(or something...)

After I decided to visit Babette & Ralphs' ; since I knew they were back from San Antonio...I found only Ralph (just a 'lil disappointed, Babs wasn't there to find out she was already at work) ... Anywho, Ralph was great hostess & caught me up on family news, not going into anything real deep, but did catch me up on many topics concerning Mom & Dad, of course..and some processes on going right now & some minor details... (I told Ralph that I thought they (-meaning: Ralph, Babette & Pat & Debbie were doing excellent job as a whole; as I could tell...) I also expressed that as soon as this "Guardianship"process(which might take 6-12 months) is completed I feel all the family will be better off (especially Mom & Dad) ... So much burden will be released etc... (for example: Mom, more recently was asking Babette how to write a check....to give you some idea...)

Anywho, all that aside I ended up taking a "short" nap there at their place & got up finally at approx. 1430h...(that was overdue & needed...really helped me, THANX Ralph...really great hostess...!)

So, after that went to Mom's place & meet new "Caretaker",(Petra) a real nice person to talk to...(mentioned she had lived in Austin many years back...with family etc.) She left 'lil after 1500h. So, after talking more with Mom I decided (about 1545h) it was time to get cleaned & ready to go get Dad at his place of domicile etc...

Finally after up here I arrived at 1655h. and took Dad to restaurant without adieu...and to my pleasant surprise there were maybe 20 people in restaurant there feeding their faces (since I hate crowds anyway)...Well, Dad and I sat down near everything (the kitchen, the bar; the bathroom...etc) and we were happy, I think...at least it seemed that way to me... Right away we (I) ordered us some beer (regardless what everyone might think; I'm really NOT an alcoholic...okay?)...Dad milkedhis beer while I had only 6 throughout the meal...OKAY?

By the way we got there @ approx 1650h. and after ordering "ordurv's" (sp)(sausage bites w ranch & BB-Que sauce) ; maybe 1800h started to order our main dish...(I think Dad must have made "several holes" in the menu as hard as he looked at it trying to remember what he ate last time with Pat ...I found out later...)...to know avail I took charge and decided to order for Dad... Dad got brisket "special" with baked potato & it came with "Texas Caviar" (as it was called) simply it was fruit coleslaw & sweet beans...way too much for Dad, of course...But, he did enjoy the meal; personally, I think he enjoyed being "out" more than anything...

I feel he was a 'lil saddened that more family wasn't there...even though I did try to keep his humor up...best I could... I mentioned Pat might be there & got message during meal he was at his doctor's office and would be home early evening etc... (of course Babette was still at work etc...)... So in that respect, I'm glad I could at least take Dad out at all... I explained all this to Dad & seemed to understand what I said; but...there was still some sadness in his eyes...I wish I could have done something to take away that & I seemed to have been powerless in that area...?

We ended the meal with a small desert given by restaurant...with a candle...(which Dad let burn after he took his first bite...) I had to remind him I wasn't ready to take him to the hospital for a burnt lip (or soimethin') ; so, told him before he took another bite to make wish & "blowout the candle....please!" and we both laughed together...During that process I found time to take few fotos...(and my batteries died...what can I say? As you can see above...Thanx to God, right?)

After all that we finally arrived at Mom's house to find that Mom was already asleep in bed... (What else could go wrong, folks...?) So, I told Dad I would take him to his "quarters" so he could retire & not be locked out for past his curfew...ha, ha...(he chuckles..) Dad said that's fine except I need to go number #2 in the " 'lil Boys" bathroom...(this was approx. 1930h.) Well, I helped Dad set his butt on the shitter and told him to give me a buzz since I'd be watching the "McCain Convention" in meanwhile...(our next President to be; I'm sure everyone knows already!)Dad seemed okay with that...(of course, I checked with him every so often...)

Finally at around 2040h. Mom woke-up to find what the noise was about etc... Then was flabbergasted that Dad had been sitting there on the toilet more than half hour & not having much "success" at his efforts & patience etc... Finally Mom just said: how are you going to get back in the house on; won't it be locked...?" Dad response: "...Oh, it's okay, WE'll break the door down if WE have too...!" Mom, laughed with Dad...!Well, a few minutes later Mom convinced Dad to finish his "business" so I could take him "home"... and we did that finally...

While taking Dad "home" I ask when was the last time he had an enema...and his reply was he couldn't remember... I told him I think it would be good to get it at least once a weak ...and besides if I had someone stick something up my butt I'd surely remember... (he chuckled)...and said yeah maybe so...

Finally we arrived at destination...brought Dad inside (with no problems)... Vero was there (night nurse) and I explain Dad's dilemma to relay to Martha to consider maybe doing something about Dad's "empacking" situation.... After having taking him to his room...I gave Dad update on what I told Vero and he said "okay"... Gave Dad a hug & kiss and wished him a Happy Birthday, once more... and wished him a good night. (then left for Mom's house.)

-END OF STORY-
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My feelings overall about this experience with Dad was great...(with or without the stool problem) ...It just saddens me that it's so hard sometimes to think one day we'll have to let go both of them...I hope in our hearts we think positive about all this after they are gone we can really appreciate that much more how much they've done for always...Also, if we think to remember mostly that their pain & suffering will all disappear when it said and done....I've known them the longest and I can never be grateful enough for what they've done & are doing for me (us)now......................................

-Love To All-

(Bernard)

02/09/08

The saddest thing after I'd read your blog, Patrick, was that I'd spoken to mom around 11 am(8pm my time) She was all excited about having recieved the box for dad---though I did tell her there were some things in it for her as well---and she 'd told me how she had put it away until dad's birthday. I had told her that I'd spoken to dad Friday morning(after 6pm here) and told him he would be receiving his Bday gift at mom's through the mail as Chris and I had gotten together on that. And we went on and on about what was in the box and what not....What I'm wondering is...she was so well (we spoke both French and English and she even said something to me in German). I talked to her about how we are expecting a visit from Guy and Michele Tondeur towards the end of the month......She was concerned about not having heard from Bernard since, early morning, I think. I could only tell her that I had read an email(did not go into the detail about the blog here on that point) that he was leaving. She told me about Babette/Ralph being up at Deniz's. All in all we chatted about half an hour altogether. I realized though when I spoke about our boys that I was "overtaxing" her. I mentioned that Brian was off for a month of surfing on the atlantic coast of Spain/Portugal(with his girlfriend, Sarah) She asked me if he was married. Then I spoke of Robin......then she asked me if he were older or younger than Brian. I came to realize that our "talk" had gone on too long....she excused herself and told me she "had to hang up to go somewhere".
I'm therefore wondering about two things actually. First question: isn't there a difference between wearing the patch which I assume, distributes the dosis gradually but continually as compared to a tablette taken once daily? Or do I lie entirely wrong here?
And second: I 'm sort of confused about not hearing about Bernard having arrived in EP....did he change his mind? I mean, I had had no idea that he was heading there, then he wrote that he was on his way(as I understood it) and then....nada!
Well, as for here....work is awful....way too much...yesterday I started at 8 am...worked thru until 18:45, left the office with my last(hand therapy) patient and forgot to lock up! I was just exhausted and forgot. Of course everytime now I forget something, no matter how stressedout I am......I start to worry some......
But I guess that's just me...in a word....ms. worry-wart. I 'm worring about Brian and Sarah. All these past years ( think its the 4th or 5th now) that he's gone down there...they've always been about 5 or 6 in a group....this year they've gone alone. And I think " what happens if he has an accident out on the water and Sarah, who doesn't surf, and is perhaps reading a book on the beach doesn't notice"......I know.....I know.....I need to relay more!
I guess I 'm frustrated, too, because I took it for granted I'd bea ble to talk to dad today to congratulate him...but I couldn't call from work...at least the system I use at home...using a prefix wouldn't work there. My boss has a contract with a phone company over his home phone number....something wierd. And when I finally got home, all I got was the answering machine, which doesn't even allow me to leave a message!!
I'm anxious to hear from Chris and Emily. Maybe I can drop by this weekend and see them for a short visit. That would be nice.
Now, its good bye ya'll. And I envy you all who can be there to congratulate dad in person...